Ever since I was fairly young, I’ve dealt with a pretty vast array of health issues. Some things were serious, some mild. Some diagnosed, some that still remain a mystery today. Lately, I had been feeling relatively healthy.. until last Monday, when I developed some alarming medical symptoms out of the blue. I went to the doctor, who diagnosed me with an infection and gave me antibiotics. After the course of pills was finished, I hadn’t gotten any better. Today, I called them, only to find out that all of my test results came back negative, I have no infection, and they have no idea what’s wrong with my body.

I’m just so sick of this. I’m sick of suffering through things and being tested for things just to get no answers. I want to feel like a healthy, fully functioning person already. I want to be able to focus on work and school, eat and drink pleasurable things, and be able to enjoy hanging out with friends without having to worry about whether or not my body is going to be able to handle performing simple tasks and activities.

I have convocation tomorrow and I’m scared instead of excited.
I should be proud about graduating from university, but instead, I’m just sitting here dreading how agonizing those hours are going to feel while I’m stuck in this condition.
I hate having to worry about whether or not I’m going to be sick forever.

I don’t want to live inside this body anymore, I just want to be somebody else.