Anonymous sent: Hey Trumaine!! First off i wanna say that i love what you do and you're a huge inspiration to me! But i would really want you to turn away from using the term "transvestite" or even "crossdresser" for that matter because it implies that clothing is gendered and also transvestite is a really probelematic slur in the LGBTQ community.


Thank you thank you! First of all, I would never refer to others in this way. I used those terms because they were the terms being used by the asker. I understand that clothing is not inherently gendered and I see myself as simply a male identifying person who likes to wear dresses. But not everyone understands that clothing is not inherently gendered, so how better can I explain what I’m doing to someone who doesn’t have that concept under their belt yet? That’s a genuine question and my intention is not to be defensive. Thank you for your insight!

I understand that certain terms are offensive and we should never use them to refer to human beings; it’s shameful and disgusting to make people feel that way with slurs. This is common sense, and OP never should have used those terms (I’m sure they did so from a place of ignorance, but I digress)

But how can we have discourse about why terms are hurtful and why they don’t justly and correctly describe people if we can’t refer to those terms and critique their use without censorship? This is something I still don’t fully understand and would like to understand.

Anonymous sent: I'm going to the Pacific Mall on sunday and I was wondering if you had any suggestions of places there to check out? I'm hoping to find some DollyWink lashes and some Japanese and Korean cosmetics, as well as some kawaii merch

I don’t know the names of many of the stores (they always change) but I recommend shopping at The Face Shop, Tonymoly, Missha and Etude House for actual authentic, well priced make-up! These are the true shops, not resellers.

As for Dollywink, that’s tricky. Every seller overprices, but you can get their eyelashes and eyeliner in several shops there. There’s a place on the windowed side where the eyelashes are behind the counter. That woman doesn’t charge too much for her products and you never have to pay tax.

As for Kawaii stuff, try One’s and Smart Maple in Market Village (which is right next to Pmall.) There are tons of Anime shops in the mall itself but I don’t know any of their names. It’s not gonna take you long to traverse the halls, though. It’s not a big mall.

Anonymous sent: Please don't post this if tumblr didn't put me on anonymous. Do you ever get anonymous hate mail? Like people just saying really mean stuff to you? I'm not popular by any means as a lolita and I don't post photos of myself but I keep getting hate messages...

I get them sometimes. I got them more when I was new than I do now. Usually I just deflect people’s stupidity with apt reactionary gifs.

That feel when you have the best gifs saved to respond to anon hate with, but you don’t seem to be getting any. Haha

I’m at Matsuri today!

::: by abenohiya on Flickr.

Romance Was Born

Avcon 2014: SundayAngelic Pretty Fancy Paper DollsJumperskirt, headbow, necklace: Angelic PrettyBlouse: Pumpkin CatSocks: Emily Temple CuteBag: MilkShoes: Secret ShopEverything else: Offbrand or handmade
Anonymous sent: why did a girl try to fight you?

She was angry at me for “wanting attention” because clearly there was no other reason why I’d be dressed like a “freak.” Haha

My house is in a good spot but my general area of Toronto is not the greatest. I live near a lot of people who think they’re tough.

lavenderprincess16 sent: Have u ever had anything weird happen to you in lolita? I know when I wear lolita , I get asked a lot if I'm going to a play which makes no sense at all.

I get that one all the time, too!

One time when I was wearing Lolita, a girl tried to fight me. Her boyfriend had to hold her back. It was HILARIOUS.

I was also harassed once by a drunk college guy in a mall parking lot while I was wearing toned down sweet. People are such idiots sometimes, aren’t they?